Ah, Ciao! One of my amicis sends me the electronic mail and he says, Ah Ciao, Gabriele! And I respond-ah, Ciao! And he says, Ah Ciao! And I ask him, are you-ah having an espresso? And he writes, ah No, but I have -ah something to say. Prego, I say. What?

So he tells me that my last blogger made me sound-ah strange-ah! That I would-ah watch Jazione like, how you say, Hannibal Lector?

No, no, no, my amicis! Jazione is a friend. A friend who I need to talk to and who I-ah miss-ah, but, but, but, nothing more-ah.

Basta!

Ah, here's an idea-ah! I put a picture of myself here and you can see-ah how I am just a normal half Italiano, half Sebian.

See?! Very. very normale. And here is a picture of what I was trying to parlare in my last email. It is very very normale.











You see-ah?! Like any due roommates. One goes sleep-ah and the other gazes on him-ah, lovingly, longingly, quietly.


Very very normale.


Ah ciao!


It costs me Due million lira for a flight to Vermont. But I might have to go there. Gabriele's big American adventura! Ah, ciao!

Ah ciao! Still, no worda from Jazione. I thought for sure-ah he would-ah put a comment on my web site-ah, the way he would leave little post it notes on the freedge telling poor Gabriele that he was ah not-ah coming home, or that he had no lira for rent-ah, or that Keith Haring and Michelangelo were ah-sleep-ah on the cold-ah marble floor-ah.

A friend of Gabriele's wrote to him to say, Ciao, Gabriele! And so I said, Ciao! And he said, Ciao! And then I got up from my computer to make an espresso, and when I sat back down-ah I had a cinque emails from my friend. The first three say Ciao! Then, Dove, Gabriele? And then a longer one about how peoples are doing this thing-ah - they write a bunch of things about themselves that no-one knows-ah. My friend-ah, he writes ah-cinque times cinque. That's a too many more of poor Gabriele. I can do cinque things you no know about Gabriele.

Une. My father is Italiano, it is true. But my mama, she is Serbian!

Due. In-ah my bedroom, I have a poster of the Barbra Streisand Superman record like above! I amore it!

Tre. Gabrieles color the favorite? White.

Quattro. Gabriele has celiac disease, which means I no can eat pasta! When I discover this, I almost-ah commit-ah suicide!

Cinque. When Jazione lived with Gabriele, and we were so happy, I would at night-ah, after Jazione go sleep sleep, go in his room, on toe, like mouse-ah, and watch Jazione sleep so peaceful, for due, tre, quattro hours, and leave before he wakes-ah up-ah!

Ciao from Roma!

Ah ciao! I think I found-ah Jazione! He has not-ah gotten ah-back to me though! Poor Gabriele! Ciao, Jazione, I just-ah want to talk to you-ah about some things! Roma, and painting, and pace, and-ah, perhaps, talk-ah about the soap-ah and the garlic-ah and the due, tre, quattro months rent-ah you owe me!

We can have a limoncello and parlare!

Ciao, dove Jazione?

Oh, when I think of Keith Haring and Michelangelo I get so mad-ah! They came and stayed at my apartmento for due weeks, and Jazione never told me that they were coming...anyway, I have due memories - here's the first:

Ah ciao, that they ate all my garlic-ah! Uno clove, OK! Due clove, OK! But the whole garlic-ah!?!





And then, there was this-ah:







Here was my soap-ah when Michelangelo and Keith haring arrived. And below is the same soap-ah after they left-ah:





Ah ciao! They ah massacred it! Che cazzo!

Prego!

He is in a America, I think. And he has these due friends, Keith Haring and Michelangelo. He might be with them somewhere! Maybe they know where Jazione is! Does-ah anyone know-ah Keith Haring?

Ah ciao! Some people have-ah told me, Gabriele, ciao. And then I say, ah-ciao! And then they say, Ciao! And then I say do you want an espresso? And they say, No, Gabriele, we have something to tell you. So they tell me, Gabriele...tell us more about Jazione so we can help you find-ah him!

Prego! I say. Brilliant! He was a brown-ah haired man. He spoke a little Italiano, due, tre, quattro words. He was a painter and would-ah paint-ah nudes. Once I told him, Ciao, Jazione, do you want-ah paint-ah me? And he said, Ciao, Gabriele, no, prego. And I was a sad-ah.

Has anyone seen this-ah man? I have a drawn a picture of him above. Ah, ciao!